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Alexis' Interview on Scared Monkeys Radio
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The following e-mails and pleas for help are from real victims. These are their words and their actual pleas for help to domestic violence organizations. When domestic violence resources fail victims die. Support Survivors In Action and domestic violence resource reform - it is a matter of life or death.
Alexis:
My name Merlie. I am originally from Oxnard, CA and I moved to Sacramento in 1998. While living in Oxnard, my first encounter with my abuser is when I was pregnant with my son, I reached out to the Coalition in Oxnard and they refused to help or intervene unless he had punched the baby (me in the stomach endangering the baby). I was in danger for my life, and they wanted to make sure the baby was in jeopardy before they would help me. It just didn't make sense to me. Why does the Coalition to end domestic violence say they help victims of violence. Law enforcement in Ventura county refused to help me as well and told me there was nothing that could be done and that set the entire stage for my abuse and continued for sometime until I moved.
Something should be done about this and I am glad Survivors In Action is willing to take the risk and actually do something.
—Merlie
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Victim in Michigan being left behind by paid advocates and funded domestic violence resources
advocates that tell me they will be in court and never show up. Lying saying they were there...Its really sad...I will send out one email to see if it gets me anywhere, I know that they have pro bono attorneys who do some work but no one wants to take on the "messy" case!!!
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Domestic Violence Resources Failed!
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So, as I understand, the family violence fund has no funds and referred me to the justice program for funds, but they don’t have funds either!!!!! It’s laughable.
—Maria, Domestic Violence victim, NY
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Hello
I have been searching for an organization that would help me pay for some of my attorney fees, I am a survivor of brutal violence and have been re-victimized in the court room by my husband. My divorce has been prolonged for almost a year out of cruelty by my abuser and I am simply out of cash and I am seeking an organization that would assist, I believe these organizations are government funded. I have filled out a Crime Victims Board application but still have no claim number after months and need some help. Thank you.
—DV Victim
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I know that when I went through it—I had no support from friends or family—nor from the law—I had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn and I felt it was my fault and that I deserved it. When you are not valued as a child, when you are abused physically, emotionally, sexually and mentally you have no basis to believe it should or could be any other way. I felt it was my lot in life. Where do you go with 4 small babies at 19 years old, without an education, without any money, without any help or support, coming from an abusive family and where he will not find you? How did a 19 year old get into a fix like that in the first place? It’s always about how little she is worth compared to how valuable he is and she has been born and bred to believe she is less valuable then he!
There is the whole thing in a nutshell.
Some of us make it out alive—some of us don't—but none of us make it out without deep scars. Can’t we put aside everything else to stop this now? We are at epidemic proportions- they are killing us figuratively and physically- violence against women is a hate crime. Both my daughters were victims of violence. The cases are pending and I am not able to discuss these issues at present. Two sons-in-law are in jail. My oldest daughter Denise 45 passed 3/7/09. My youngest, Louisa 41 , remains hospitalized to date. It's cyclical—daughters raised in these households go on to be abused—sons go on to abuse. From birth to death women must be valued.
—BJ, mother of domestic violence homicide victim When resources fail, victims die.
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Most DV centers are equipped only for women contemplating leaving. I found that after I left there wasn't much help out there.
It took over a year for me to convince my police department I wasn't crazy. Longer in the court. I have stood and made a speech in front of judges in criminal court, I have fought month after month in Probate Court. Nothing comes easy or fast. One thing remains the same, I have largely prevailed by following the law, it's snail pace of justice, I always wear a suit and little make-up in court, I remain a lady and continue to be unbelievably polite.
The system needs changing I agree but this is a patriarchal society and we still have to work within the parameters.
So aren't there any representatives or people in the spotlight who sympathize? I got the DA to help simply by calling and calling and calling and calling.
—Theresa, DV victim
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Hi Alexis, Thank you for the article. When I was involved with a shelter in the Chicago suburbs -counseling, court adovacy assistance; helped me to get 2 o/ps- and a member of a battered womens group-I often heard or read statistics on domestic violence etc. I found it interesting and disturbing that I have never been contacted since that time to have anyone aware of what happened in my case. I feel that the shelter took me to a certain place but never prepared me for the wrath of the court sytem. I always wondered where the numbers came from as far as statistics go because there was absolutely no contact from them or any other dv organization regarding the outcome of my case. I have spoken to other women who feel the same.
Sincerely, Lisa
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Victim Pleas for help
I have contacted you and the services that you set me up with and I feel that I have become forgotten about, this is very frustrating and disconcerting. These organizations are designed to help victims correct? I am becoming confused because every agency I have reached out to other than Safe Homes in Newburgh NY, has rejected me and not followed up with me. I have sent about 10 emails and have not received anything that would help me in my case…
When domestic violence resources fail, victims die. Family law and criminal courts are failing victims nationwide.
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Hi Alexis,
I was a victim in Sept 2008. And I am extremely upset with how I was represented by the Domestic Violence Group where live. Whenever tell anyone about what happened they are shocked.
—Tina, DV Victim
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Shelter Nightmare reported by a victim…
I have a hard time expressing my needs. A pro bono attorney would be great. If they would actually fight for me. I need a computer, phone, and fax. We are o.k. on food and I was just given a bed a couple of days ago. My transitional housing ended in November and the shelter told me to stay in house until I got evicted and just dropped me. They asked me to come on a radio station and they were going to sponsor my kids for Christmas. I went on and spoke for them and the radio station did a huge fundraiser and I found out 4 days before Christmas that the shelter never put my kids on the list. I do not trust them after everything they did and I want to help other women avoid these same pit-falls.
—Colene
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From the highest DV office in NYS...I don’t what to reply back, its not even worth it…
—From Maria, DV Victim falling through the cracks
Victims e-mail from Haskins, Heather (OPDV) DV Resource in New York State:
Hello Maria,
I am in receipt of your email dated April 8th, 2009. As you are aware, this agency is primarily a policy office: I offer emergency support and referral information but do not provide direct client services. However, if the referrals you have been given have not worked for you I would be more than happy to assist you further… From our conversations, I understand that you feel that your husband’s ongoing ability to access free legal representation through his Union is prolonging your divorce proceedings, resulting in high attorney fees for you which are a substantial financial burden. As you know, I contacted the State Department of Education to determine what benefits, if any, the legal spouse of a teacher employed by the State Department of Education with union benefits might be able to receive. The Department's position was that while each local teachers’ union operates differently, based on its own individual rules and regulations. Therefore, your husband is entitled to any services his Union will provide for any length of time they will provide them.
I would again encourage you to make an appointment with Legal Services of the Hudson Valley at their office in Poughkeepsie: you may call to make an appointment or walk in, which ever is most convenient for you. As I have explained, they have a grant that enables them specifically to provide legal representation to victims of domestic violence in divorce proceedings. You would need to meet with them to see if you meet their criteria for representation. These attorneys are trained and experienced in dealing with the variety of issues and dynamics associated with domestic violence. I know you said you might consider accessing LSHV at some point: if you currently do not have legal representation, I am concerned that you are navigating a difficult system without the legal representation for which you may be eligible. I believe they would be a very useful resource for you : you can reach them at 845-471-0058.
Since you state that you are working with an advocate, I would also like to offer to collaborate with her, with your permission and participation, to see whether together we might identify additional options to meet your needs. I would be happy to speak with you, or with you and your advocate.
Again, I will continue to be of whatever assistance I can, in my role as the Victim Resource Coordinator here at OPDV. I can facilita te communication among individuals who can assist you directly, as well as give you information about other possible resources. Please let me know if you would like to me pursue any of the additional assistance mentiond above.
From: XXXX Sent: Wednesday, April 08, 2009 7:27 PM To: Haskins, Heather (OPDV) Subject: Request for Assistance
Haven't heard from you at all in regards to my case, I just want to remind you that I'm still here, still getting no justice, no help with anything. Today my husband and I had court for a restraining order I filed against him. He is using his HS funded criminal lawyer to fight this too, now it is going to trial Jun 10th, 2009. I have no way of defending myself against this and I am being challenged by this school funded lawyer that is preventing me from protecting my life.
Maria
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DV Coalitions Need to be Sued
I agree 150%...They need to be sued, they need to show what they've done with their grant dollars for the last 20 years!!!!
—DV Victim, Indiana
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More refer & Pass the buck
From: Will Marling
Ms. XXX—
I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. We are a resource network for victims of all kinds of crime, especially violent. I would be referring you to the closest and/or best resources for your situation.
In the case of Domestic Violence, a starting point is the National Network to End Domestic Violence, http://www.nnedv.org/, 800-799-7233.
But as email is not always the best way to discuss important details to understand what needs might exist, I recommend you call us at 800-TRY-NOVA.
Kind regards, Dr. Will Marling Executive Director 10 King Street, Suite 424 Alexandria, VA 22314 703-535-6682 x 103
2009 National Crime Victims' Rights Week April 26 to May 2, 2009 25 Years of Rebuilding Lives: Celebrating the Victims of Crime Act 35th Annual North American Victim Assistance Conference August 23-27, 2009
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Where does all the funding go?
Preserve VAWA/FVPSA Related Amedments in FY 2010 Budget Resolution
Background
After successfully securing increases of $17 million for VAWA, $5 million for FVPSA and $45 million for VOCA in the FY 2009 Appropriations budget, we have begun advocacy for our FY 2010 appropriations priorities. In response to President Obama’s budget, Congress has begun consideration of their version of the FY 2010 Budget, which passed primarily on a party line vote in each chamber on Thursday, April 2nd.
We are pleased to announce that the Senate version of the FY 2010 Budget Resolution includes two amendments offered separately by Senators Robert Casey (D-PA) and Robert Menendez (D-NJ) that would lay the foundation to fully fund VAWA and FVPSA at approximately $1 billion during the upcoming Appropriations process.
Currently, the House and Senate have formed a conference committee and started informal negotiations on reconciling the differences between their chamber’s version of the bill. We are asking for your help in urging the Budget Committee to preserve VAWA Long-term Housing (Casey) and VAWA/FVPSA (Menendez) Amendments.
Casey Amendment (Long Term Stability/Housing for Victims)
The Casey Amendment creates a deficit neutral reserve fund to fully fund the Long-Term Stability/Housing for Victims Program under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).
This is an existing program in VAWA authorized at $10 million, but it has never been funded. The VAWA Long-Term Stability/Housing for Victim Program builds collaborations between domestic violence service providers and housing providers and developers to leverage existing resources and create housing solutions that meet victims’ need for long-term housing.
Menendez Amendment (Full Funding of VAWA and FVPSA)
The Menendez Amendment creates a deficit neutral reserve fund to fully fund VAWA and FVPSA at $ 1 billion. While VAWA and FVPSA received slight increases for FY 2009, both programs are funded below their authorized level. This Amendment, if included in the Budget Resolution Conference Report, would set the foundation for VAWA and FVPSA to be fully funded at the authorized level of $1 billion during the Appropriations process.
Outlook
We anticipate that negotiations over the next two weeks around the FY 2010 Budget Resolution will greatly impact the Resolution’s final outcome. During this period, it is critically important to make VAWA and FVPSA a priority during the Budget process so that the Budget Committee can set the allocations high enough for the Appropriations Committee to appropriate full funding for VAWA and FVPSA. With the help of grassroots, we are optimistic that our VAWA Long-term Housing and VAWA/FVPSA Amendments will be preserved in the final FY 2010 Budget Resolution.
Phoenix, Arizona
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Heather Thompson
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Heather Thompson of North Carolina was tortured and brutally beaten almost to death, she continues to plea for help and domestic violence organizations do nothing.
A List of Organizations that deny victims help reported by victim's
For more information on resources working to reduce and prevent domestic violence please refer to the New York City Mayor’s Office to Combat Domestic Violence website at:
